Needing Help, Calling on the Answerer

Most of the time, I go charging ahead, shirttail flapping in the breeze, without a care in the world as I get to live out my dreams.  But sometimes, seemingly more frequently now than in the past, I’m pulled up short by someone else’s words or actions.  Once in awhile, the word is a kind or encouraging one that makes me pause and be thankful that I’m on the right path.  But more often than not, the words come as a disheartening and discouraging surprise.

I see through those words—or a raised eyebrow with a scowling eye on the opposite side and downturned lips below—that someone is disturbed by something I’ve done or said.  Very few times can I just keep moving forward when this happens, but sometimes I recognize that the sharpness has nothing to do with me and is just a reflection of the others’ negativity or sour mood.

On the rest of the occasions, I find myself before our King, asking if I’ve done something wrong—or blaming the other person for being in the wrong.  When I feel wronged, I often go on tirades to Him, telling Him what’s wrong with them, why they’re wrong and asking for Him to sort them out.

Once in awhile, I actually discover that He brought someone else correction, but more frequently, He sorts ME out (maybe you can relate?!).  I discover old wounds that have formed crusty, thickened scars inside my heart, or even fresher ones that are oozing with infection.  And I must open myself up to my Healer and say, “Here I am again, and I need surgery.  Please cut out the rotten parts and replace them with new ones that aren’t so riddled with darkness.”

He’s so kind and faithful, always loving.  He doesn’t chide me for being like a continually-errant child, but encourages me by saying that He’s so in love with me and so happy that I need Him to help me.  He never tires of my tales of hurt feelings or cries for help.  Just today, as I was pouring out my heart, I saw a “picture” in my mind’s eye, of me climbing up a rocky mountain-side—my Beloved Jesus right beside me.  I would slip, and He would grab me, preventing me from falling.  Or I would start to move too quickly and fall backward.  And—you guessed it—He was right there, hands up and on my back, shoulder s pressed against me so that I wouldn’t topple.  What kind of friend can always be so available —or even wants to be so helpful when we frequently mess up?  His faithfulness always surprises me, but less so than His abiding love.  He truly overlooks my wrongs so frequently, just waiting for me to come running (or crawling) and asking Him to help.  And it’s then that I’m face to face with my sinfulness and He’s there to pick up the pieces.

As difficult as it is, I’m thankful for the parts of life that cause me to stick close to my Maker.  These are opportunities to draw underneath the enormously powerful arms that shadow me from harm and keep me warm when the world feels cold.  As the prince of this world chases after us and tries repeatedly to knock us down, trip us, or just plain kill us, it’s an amazing feeling to know that my Hero never fails me and always wins.  He makes the battle all worthwhile, and knowing that He can go inside and treat what’s broken—no matter how long it has been that way—is deeply encouraging.   Even when I’m wrong, He helps me to find the truth and makes me feel loved and forgiven as quickly as I recognize it.

We’re getting ready to see the enemy of this world and of God’s creatures be trounced by the greatest Light that ever was or will be.  To know this in times of darkness is like being cared for as a small bud growing in dry and rocky soil.  He waters and feeds us; indeed, He takes better care of us than the best vineyard owner.  We are His investment and He won’t settle for anything less than stellar returns on us—guaranteed returns to what was given us as a new-birthright.