Friday, February 25, 2011

Becoming a Vessel

I live near the sea and boats are a frequent sight.  I can also drive up the shore and watch the boats, birds and waves.  I’ve been looking at boats a lot lately, wondering what kind I would be, if I was made a boat.  For example, wouldn’t it be great to be a yacht, to travel wherever there are open ports, eating luscious food on board, watching brilliant sunsets.  But if I was in dry-dock all the time because I had beautiful shiny wood and cost a fortune to maintain, that would pretty much cut down on my usefulness, so maybe a yacht wouldn’t be the best boat to be…. 

So what about a fun little sailing skiff?  They’re great for short jaunts and just playing in the water.  But do they really serve much more purpose than that?  I watch the young folks here learning how to sail them, and as enjoyable as it looks, I realize they’re only good for short spurts in the sea.

Then there’s the warship.  Now its purpose is obvious—it’s made for battle.  It may carry fighter aircraft, or be loaded with guns to shoot at “enemies.”  But if I was a battleship, my focus would be primarily on fighting.  Ditto for submarines and nuclear weapons’ carriers.  Scratch all of those.  I don’t want to constantly focus on the enemy.

Have you ever seen a tugboat?  It’s made to help pull other boats through tough spots; now that’s a noteworthy purpose!  It’s not  beautiful to look at, but it keeps things moving because it makes sure no one gets stuck in a canal, port, or underneath a bridge.  They’re remarkably useful.  I like that idea, but still feel I haven’t found my dream vessel.

Sail boats are beautiful—sleek and fast, but only good for transportation when the wind is blowing.  If I want to spend my time enjoying life, resting and seeing the scenery, this is ideal.  But if I’m about my Father’s business, and if I must travel quickly, weathering lots of storms, this isn’t the boat to be.

So then I see a fishing boat.  I like this one because its purpose is to bring fish on board.  (Think bringing folks to faith in the Gospel they’ve never heard…)  Certainly I don’t want the fish to rot, so I'm gonna need a sharp crew.  They have to be able to deftly catch the fish, haul them on board and clean them when we get to shore. Yup, a fishing boat would be a good thing to be, but I don’t quite feel it’s my niche.

How about Coast Guard ships?  They sound really important, rescuing people who are in tight spots.  But I think that job has already been taken by One far wiser than me.  However, I like the fact that they watch the coasts, looking for the lost and to keep out the "bad guys."  Another noble cause up for grabs…intercessors and watchmen!  

A cruise ship’s purpose seems to be to support passengers motivated to party—or simply just to relax.  Nothing against that (at least the latter), but I’ve got time staring me in the eyeball, and so do many who haven’t yet heard the wonderful news I know.   So spending a lifetime carrying people around for frivolity seems decadent.

There are probably many more boats I haven’t mentioned, but what about the passenger ferry?  It takes people where they need to go (think discipleship).  I really like the sound of that!  It works with lots of others to be where it needs to be at the right time and its only purpose is to transport people from one place to another.  Yup, I think if I was to be a boat, I’d choose that one.  But maybe the most important thing is to stay in the sea, not in dry dock, or even at port.  Otherwise, I’m not going to be able to serve my appointed purpose.  Let’s get in the water, boat or no, and start swimming, shall we? 

Monday, February 14, 2011

True Love

”Love is patient and kind; love does not envy or boast; it is not arrogant 5or rude. It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful; it does not rejoice at wrongdoing, but rejoices with the truth. Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.”
(1Cor 13:4-7)

It is a sad confession but true that it took me two years to memorize 1Cor 13 (which I just noticed for the first time is only four paragraphs and the last one is really only a sentence!). As I studied these words daily, I began to recite them as a prayer.  The longer I did it, the more discouraged I felt. 

Mind you, this all occurred when I lived in my “home” country (recognizing of course, that I am still a legal alien in a strange land no matter what country I live in!).  This came to a final explosion when I was driving to work one morning, telling the Lord I wanted to leave my job because my coworker was so mean.  in tears, I asked Him how on earth (literally) I was ever going to be successful at this “love thing.”  I knew I could occasionally live up to one or two of the descriptors for 24 hours, but I could never make it through a whole day doing all of them without stumbling—let alone live like this for an entire lifetime.  A sense of total failure overwhelmed me. 

Then, on that gloomy, traffic-packed morning, the Lord spoke, saying, “Who asked you to do this for a lifetime—or even for an entire day?” 

I was thinking, “You’ve got to be kidding, Lord!  Isn’t that sort of an obvious conclusion to the chapter???”

And He spoke again—in that very quiet, miss-it-if-you’re-not-paying-attention voice.  “You can’t do this, dear daughter.”

Okay, now we’re talking.  I already knew this, but was very grateful that my Creator also recognized it.  But He continued. “In order to love like this, you must come to Me every time you’re in a difficult situation with someone or are struggling in a relationship.”

I was flabbergasted—not because that’s an impossible task, but because it seemed too easy.   “I AM LOVE, dear child.  You have to be constantly connected to Me in order to love.  It’s not something you obtain once, then practice for the rest of your life; it only comes through ongoing relationship with Me.”

I was stunned and felt the most enormous burden lift off my shoulders!  All of the sudden, I no longer felt hatred toward my coworker, but  I felt compassion for her—like I hadn’t felt for a long, long time.  My two-year-old burden disappeared—in a second.  Love bought it and took it away.  He replaced my ugly, worm-filled heart with His blood-soaked one…and it felt so, so good. 

I can’t close without saying that it didn’t end there.  Another chapter is ongoing—having to do with people who aren’t very loveable.  After a number of encounters with people who are just downright unpleasant to be around (like I always am, huh?!), I was complaining to my Prince.  “Why must I have these unloving people in my life, Lord?  Why can’t You just bring me the kind and gracious ones?”

Duh.  The answer came as swiftly as the one before.  “If I only put loving, lovely people in your life, how would you learn to love?”  He got me again. 

I’m sure glad He’s always easy to love, always loving, even funny.  He’s my Perfect Husband, Knight in shining armor, Beloved Prince who makes loving easy, and Who wants to use me to love the unlovely.  I’m far from having arrived, but I have a feeling that being a stranger in a strange land has something to do with this. 

Friday, February 4, 2011

Like Little Children

This past week, I had the extraordinary privilege of hanging out with 14 young folks (i.e., less than 14 years old) who, when we started, had some great theology—better than mine in some ways!  They also had an extraordinary number of questions (not surprising!), ranging from, “When do you think the world will end?,” to “Do you think there are babies in heaven?”

If I’d been alone, I’d have been more than ill-equipped to answer any of these questions—indeed I would have been unable to do anything of much use.  But I went with my best Friend. In fact, He’s the reason I went.  He’s so in love with children, and so desperately wants them to be in love with Him, to experience all He has for them, to walk with passion and zeal for their First Love.  As the hours together progressed, I could see that many of the kids were amazing students, had been faithful to remember their Bible verses, and knew they were going to heaven.  But they didn’t know the intensity of God’s love for them.  They didn’t know the enormity of His desire to use them to bring Him glory on planet earth. 

These kids emanated from all over the world.  Some were Asian, some European, some American, and some had parents from two countries.  But they all shared one thing—they’re strangers in a strange land.  They know they’re different from the kids around them—and in more ways than the obvious ones, such as their heart language, what they like to eat, and what their religion is.  But they take it all in stride.  As we began the week, I told them my goal was for them to leave more in love with their Savior than when they came, and to know the enormity of His love for them more than ever.

As we pondered and discussed His magnitude, they proposed their thoughts and opinions.  But none really seemed to grasp that He’s as extraordinary as He is, that He has a purpose for them, and that He’s not mean and harsh.  As we went on, we talked about heaven and why they’re here on earth.  We pontificated on how they were made different in every way and how no one on earth will ever be like them—or ever was—because their uniqueness is a reflection of their Creator’s.  Finally, we came to the point where I realized we couldn’t talk anymore—because God had to prove Himself and could do far better than I could help Him to do it!

On the first night, the children’s homework was to ask God to make Himself real to them.  The youngest child in the group came back the next day, and excitedly announced, “I did my homework!” 
In all honesty, I’d been so busy, I’d forgotten what I’d asked them to do.  “Tell us about it,” I offered safely.

“I asked God to show Himself to me,” he shared. 

“And what happened?,” I asked.

“I had a dream and there was this big, big beautiful light,” he began.  “And then I heard a voice that said, ‘Come up’.”

All of the older children (me included) stared (mostly with jealousy, I think).  Then a teenaged girl shared that she had a dream about war on earth, then went up higher and shared with another girl who was struggling in her faith.  But as she saw the battle below her intensify, she went back down to fight.  Not bad for a first try, huh?

About five of the kids said God had somehow answered them that night, but the “brain-ee-acs” all looked a little taken aback.  Used to excelling in school and whizzing through their homework, they didn’t have much of a response to this assignment because it was with their spirits that they had to seek God, not their brains. 

On the final day, I sent a text to a friend asking her to pray.  I knew that the session the Lord was asking me to do depended completely on Him and there was almost nothing I could do to make it successful.  I was nervous because I knew that if He didn’t come through, the children would leave disappointed, and I would probably be even moreso!

I asked all of them to lay on the floor, face down (as people did in ancient days when praying, and as they still do where we live; my reasoning is that it just prevents us from becoming distracted by watching what’s happening with those around us).  Some were allergic to dust, so I got special cloths to put their faces on so as to cut down on the sneezing.  We began by inviting the Lord to come in His holiness, power, truth, and love, and to reveal Himself to these children.  The result was more than I could ask.

In the first place, not one of them moved much at all for at least and hour—and for anyone who knows children—this is almost a miracle in itself.  “They probably fell asleep,” some of you may be thinking.  I wondered the same thing myself, but knew that even there, our wonderful King could meet them. 

I prayed for each of them and read scripture as soft worship music played in the background.  Finally, I told them if they felt they were finished, to please quietly sit up.  Slowly, one by one, they arose—some almost in a daze.  I looked at their sweet faces and thought, “I believe, Lord, You did it again.”

After most were in sitting position, I began asking what happened.  All of them related something, with a deep sense of peace being the least of their responses.  The two most amazing came from the two who sat up last—and who were the youngest (10 years old).  The first was the one with the dream of the great light.  He said that he saw a waterfall and unsurprisingly, felt the presence of King Jesus. 

The second was even more astonishing, coming from the squirmiest and most talkative child in the group.  She sat up about 20 minutes after everyone else, and her eyes were far off--gazing somewhere the rest of us couldn't see.  I asked her what happened, and she said that she saw herself at a place where men hang out, discussing politics and drinking tea (very popular here).  That came as quite a surprise, and I asked her what she was doing there.  “I was talking with them,” she said.  “About what?,” I queried.

“About Jesus,” she responded.

Wow, that one threw me.  And then I realized how like our God that was.  People here love children and love to chat with them.  How like the Lord to use a 10-year-old girl to speak about Him to a bunch of men (where women and children—especially girls—are usually not permitted to go).  And all of this happened in her spirit, as she lay on the floor.  I won’t try to explain it because I can’t (but I trust that the Lord was in it because of what happened and because she said that she still felt really nice, like she was floating).

At that moment I knew—the mission was accomplished!  The Lord met His children and they were all touched. Some of them had more profound experiences than others, but all of them had felt His gracious presence, and know that He loves them. 

I received a card from them, and a sentence from one of the oldest boys sticks out, “Thank you so much for coming.  I had no idea how much I needed this.”

Having done much preparation, and then fighting through a lot of sickness and a full day of traveling and stress to get there, this made it all worthwhile.  What a great privilege it is to minister to “the least of these.”

If I stay out of hot water with their parents, that’d be nice, too!  I try very hard to stick with Scripture and things that happened in the Bible to point to what we’re able to experience and live today, if we follow the God Who made us for His glorious purposes. But ultimately, it’s not the parents I serve; it's our Father. If He is pleased, I am thrilled.  And if I cause one of the little ones to stumble, I shall be miserable.  I pray diligently this never happens, for His deepest longing is to connect with His children—whatever our age. 

“For from him and through him and to him are all things. To him be the glory forever! Amen.”
 (Rom 11:36)