True Love

”Love is patient and kind; love does not envy or boast; it is not arrogant ⁵or rude. It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful; it does not rejoice at wrongdoing, but rejoices with the truth. Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.”

(1Cor 13:4-7)

It is a sad confession but true that it took me two years to memorize 1Cor 13 (which I just noticed for the first time is only four paragraphs and the last one is really only a sentence!). As I studied these words daily, I began to recite them as a prayer.  The longer I did it, the more discouraged I felt. 

Mind you, this all occurred when I lived in my “home” country (recognizing of course, that I am still a legal alien in a strange land no matter what country I live in!).  This came to a final explosion when I was driving to work one morning, telling the Lord I wanted to leave my job because my coworker was so mean.  in tears, I asked Him how on earth (literally) I was ever going to be successful at this “love thing.”  I knew I could occasionally live up to one or two of the descriptors for 24 hours, but I could never make it through a whole day doing all of them without stumbling—let alone live like this for an entire lifetime.  A sense of total failure overwhelmed me. 

Then, on that gloomy, traffic-packed morning, the Lord spoke, saying, “Who asked you to do this for a lifetime—or even for an entire day?” 

I was thinking, “You’ve got to be kidding, Lord!  Isn’t that sort of an obvious conclusion to the chapter???”

And He spoke again—in that very quiet, miss-it-if-you’re-not-paying-attention voice.  “You can’t do this, dear daughter.”

Okay, now we’re talking.  I already knew this, but was very grateful that my Creator also recognized it.  But He continued. “In order to love like this, you must come to Me every time you’re in a difficult situation with someone or are struggling in a relationship.”

I was flabbergasted—not because that’s an impossible task, but because it seemed too easy.   “I AM LOVE, dear child.  You have to be constantly connected to Me in order to love.  It’s not something you obtain once, then practice for the rest of your life; it only comes through ongoing relationship with Me.”

I was stunned and felt the most enormous burden lift off my shoulders!  All of the sudden, I no longer felt hatred toward my coworker, but  I felt compassion for her—like I hadn’t felt for a long, long time.  My two-year-old burden disappeared—in a second.  Love bought it and took it away.  He replaced my ugly, worm-filled heart with His blood-soaked one…and it felt so, so good. 

I can’t close without saying that it didn’t end there.  Another chapter is ongoing—having to do with people who aren’t very loveable.  After a number of encounters with people who are just downright unpleasant to be around (like I always am, huh?!), I was complaining to my Prince.  “Why must I have these unloving people in my life, Lord?  Why can’t You just bring me the kind and gracious ones?”

Duh.  The answer came as swiftly as the one before.  “If I only put loving, lovely people in your life, how would you learn to love?”  He got me again. 

I’m sure glad He’s always easy to love, always loving, even funny.  He’s my Perfect Husband, Knight in shining armor, Beloved Prince who makes loving easy, and Who wants to use me to love the unlovely.  I’m far from having arrived, but I have a feeling that being a stranger in a strange land has something to do with this.